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Autonomic Scream Therapy

Autonomic Scream TherapyIt all started in an earlier session of Unified Therapy.  I didn’t start out thinking I was going to scream or feel like a scream would help.  I just started into the process that day on the table.  The usual sensations came up including the feeling like I was going to pass out.  The numbness and disconnectedness were so prevalent in my body that I wasn’t sure if I could get past that long enough to go into the process.

Little by little we did the dance of going into the pain and discomfort of the body, backing out every now and then to catch my breath.  Little by little I would compare what it felt like to go into the discomfort and pain and then into the ease of the moment.  My body began to build up and yet, I was still overwhelmed.  Places that normally would not cause me issue were no longer my friend during the session.  It felt like they had all turned on me in an attempt to get me to do what I needed to do.

We kept using the tones and sounds and while I felt I could follow along, my body felt weak from the exhaustion and stress I had been through.  The tones would come and go, but I could feel things building up in my body.  The pains would increase and then go numb again.

All at once, I began to feel this intense pain across my chest.  It hurt worse than anything I had felt in this area before today.  I’m not sure if that is what a heart attack feels like, but if it does, then that’s what it felt like.  The pain kept building and building.  The fears kept growing and with encouragement and coaching, I could stay present in this moment.

Let me tell you though, it wasn’t easy.  I have been through this process before, but when you go into this level of activation, it is all hands-on-deck to get through it.  When my body goes numb and frozen as it did on the table in this session, if you don’t know what fear can do to you, you will see it in a moment such as this.  It is almost impossible to go to that level.

Before I go further, let me note that what I’m describing isn’t overwhelming although it may sound this way.  Yes, it is intense, but I’ve been working on these things, so I am able to handle this level of depth in my body.  Too many people would not go this far into their conscious mind and body.  They would stop at the edges because the fears were become too great.  Too many stop at the edge and replace the fears by things that keep them disconnected from the reality of the mind and body.  I allow myself to go here so that I can heal because the more I heal myself, the more I can help others.

As the pain intensified in my chest area, it hurt like no pain I could remember.  It was a moment that was created as we were doing toning and sounds.  All at once, this guttural scream came bubbling up from deep within me.  It came out with an intensity and volume unlike any other moment I have ever witnessed in all of my healing.  It came with force and energy.  Even if I would have wanted to stop it, there was no way I could.  This was a full on autonomic scream that came from a very deep place.  It lasted for what seemed like forever.  It was a deep visceral connection between my mind and body.

As my body sank back into a moment of peace and re-balance after the scream, Dr Canali noted to me that this scream had been there inside of me for a long time.  I acknowledged what he said because I knew it had.  I knew it came from a deep place within me.  My mind and body inherently knew this.

The peace that transpired after that was beautiful and empowering and energizing.  It was a peace that transcends you into a much deeper level of consciousness than most will ever travel.

Later that evening and for the next two days, I lost my voice.  I could get sounds out but they were weak or would screech and lurk when I tried to speak.  It was frustrating and I knew that it was a continuation of the session.  I knew it would come back, but it was frustrating.

There is no story that I can share to give reference to what the scream was all about that day.  The only thing is I know it was something that had been locked inside of my mind and body and tissues for a very long time.  In this case, the story is not needed.  It is not necessary.  It is the connection from a visceral and guttural level that is important.  Feeling it is what matters and just making that connection.

If I would have wanted to create this autonomic scream therapy sequence and scenario, I could have never done what happened.  This was automatic.  It was an autonomic scream.  If I would have thought about who heard it in the building I was in, I’m not even sure potential embarrassment could have stopped things.  It was a deep moment that was going to come out one way or the other.

I’m glad I allowed it to happen.  Yes, it was intense, but it has completely shifted my life.  I can feel the shift.  It will be interesting to see just how the shift plays out in the days and weeks to come.

 

 


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